Friends - Bloggers and Real Life
I never took the time to think about the intersection of my friends in real life and my bloggy friends. I suppose I always thought never the two shall meet but unexpectedly I had to face this situation head-on. I was doing my usual, reading the most recent posts of my bloggy friends and there it was – like a light flashing Morse code on a fog- filled night. A request from a new bloggy friend, specifically, a request to become a facebook friend. Beckoning me. And being the person that I am, I took the request to be directed at me. No, my name was not mentioned it was a general request but I am a reader/new friend and of course I would comply with this simplest of all requests.
Or would I?
You see, although my face is plastered on my blog I have not mentioned my last name. You have a general indication of where I live but not an exact town. So although I am not an anonymous blogger, only those aspects of my life that I chose to reveal are posted for all to see.
Facebook is a whole ‘nother story.
Facebook is composed of my friends in real life. Some have known me since kindergarten, others middle school, high school, college, grad school, live in South Africa, live here - I think you get the picture. There are those that want to network – mostly individuals that I may or may not have met in college but want to connect. And a very tiny percentage – less than 2% ,are friends of friends that I added because well, they have good references. But never have I added a bloggy friend.
You may wonder what the big deal is. Well, I will tell you. As bloggy friends you actually know me quite well. You know the minutia of my daily existence, my triumphs and vulnerabilities. You my friends, know me. And of course since I have only been at this for (not quite) 2 months there is still mucho terrain to cover but you do know me.
Many of my friends in real life do not know me as intimately. You know the drill – we become adults and life happens. We check in on a monthly, yearly, five-year, ten-year time frame and life goes on. Not because we are not close but, you know, life happens.
So here is the dilemma. Do I let my bloggy friends know me totally and completely? Or do I just compartmentalize and keep my friends in their respective places. Because I don’t know about you but most of my friends in real life do not read my blog. They have been invited – on facebook as a matter of fact – but only a few have stopped in. Some let me know subtly others overtly and I am cool with that.
Am I cool with letting my bloggy friends into the real world?
I guess I am. But it will be on a case-by-case basis and of course I need references because really you never can be too safe nowadays (which directly contradicts my behavior in Paris – but I chalk that up to youth and naiveté). Whew!
I have a friend request in on facebook for my new bloggy friend. I wonder what will happen next? Nothing I am sure. I will be just another friend among a host of friends and all of my worry will have been for naught.
So I have a question for you - do you mix bloggy friends with your real world friends?
Comments
i understand where you're coming from, though. i guess it's just a matter of building a relationship over time and then assessing whether or not the person you've only known on an internet basis is someone you wanna let into your life on a "real world" basis.
Or you might choose to create a Facebook "Page" or "Group" for your blog, and allow bloggy friends to join that instead.
I chose the second option. I have yet to add a link from my blog (skylarking.us) to its Facebook group. Something to do now. 8-)
I was once a Cafe Mom person and I did accept friends from there on my Myspace. I guess it just depends on how comfy you are with whoever the person is who wants to be a... um... lets call them "well-rounded friends".
btw, you won my giveaway! come to my blog!
I am painfully introverted, self absorbed even, so those who know me through my blog get a fuller, clearer, more accurate picture of who I am. Suffice it to say if they keep coming back-we're all good. In person I am the reserved observationist, I can glean more about you that way, but you'd never get a handle on me. I have a goal to speak with some of my on-line buddies-I'm concerned that actually meeting them might not go over as well. Good luck with whatever you decide!
No more having to juggle what I can reveal and or can't. No more keeping this side of me private and tucked away. It's been liberating.
Of course that has taken me two years and some, but never late than never I say!
My facebook consists of blogging, family, friends from school, from my neighborhood. And I just recently added friends of friends.
This is a great discussion. I have thought long and hard about it and have decided that I am an open book to all. The only reason why I don't use my last name on my blog directly is because I use my children's names and post their pictures daily.
The first few weeks on facebook were really strange for me since it was the first time on the internet I wasn't anonymous of sorts.
My real life friends know about the blog and some of them read it. It is funny because some of them think it sounds just like me and some think I am very different online.
My husband has requested that he not be pictured or named on my blog which I do. I do have a family picture posted on facebook, but that is to a known audience which now includes you! YEAH!
I don't think I would ever mix the two because of privacy, but that's just me. I do have a few "local" friends who read my blog, and I want them to read, if they are interested.
Thought-providing discussion!
I think it's a powerful thing to connect through words, through images. And while I would be tentative to meet blogging friends, I strongly believe the connection would carry over.
So when are you coming to L.A? ;)
http://nicotinesworld.com
I don't mix real life with online because some of my real life friends may say something on my wall that may make my online wholesome mommies clutch their pearls. And if my real life friends find out that I blog, they'd be all in my business asking me to make them a blog and I honestly don't have the time to do something so tedious for free for someone who may abandon it.
I could probably make a 3rd facebook account because online I have 2 categories of online friends/associates. I've been blogging for 7 years. In my earlier years, I brought in a crowd of "teeny boppers". So now I'm all into being a momtrepreneur and I've left all of those people behind.
I prefer this outward living online only because we all are sharing whereas my offline life friends are not that talkative nor did they ever take the time to get to know me.
As I was beginning to share a little bit more of myself on facebook my friends were surprised about a lot about me but that is because they never listened or paid much attention to me when we were growing up. I feel they are not entitled to that life if now even 20 years plus of trying to know them they will not open their eyes.
I do not talk that much about my private life in general but when I do I know my offline friends never listen. Therefore, my words of wisdom here are NO!
Long winded but had to share! Sorry!
[This is TheJennTaFur from PoshMama/Twitter]
A lot depends on the person. A lot depends on our level of trust. I have someone I love and adore and want to have in my life in the worst way on a permanent basis, but I'm not so sure about letting him into my blogworld just yet. Weird, eh?
Da Goddess