Self-Love

self-portrait 3/9/10

Before I started my weight loss journey I didn't give much thought to how my body looked. I took the time to look presentable in public but I never lamented my thunder thighs or jiggly butt. I suppose I became accustomed to being a "voluptuous curvy girl" and accepted myself as a size 16. However, when I finally decided to live healthy and incorporate exercise and good food in my life on a regular basis things started to change. As the weight started to come off I became more and more aware of my body. The dimples in my thighs, the stretch marks on my stomach and the fact that I actually have a stomach become evident as the pounds dropped. When you are big all around it is easier to ignore the bulging tummy because everything is bulging and it is statusquo.

But as my waist cinches and my breasts get smaller I can see a change. My belly that was flat before I had my son is now puffy. The c-section and a prior surgery have left my stomach muscles weak and it is more apparent that I have a belly now. Although I never had this problem before, I sometimes have a muffin top depending on the fit of jeans. Despite my elation about losing almost 35 pounds, I find myself sometimes doing the negative self talk thing. Just today I told my girlfriend I wear a size 10 and qualified it by saying "but only in the stretchy jeans".

I look at my belly and think - "wow, it is big and I have so much work to do" rather than celebrating how far I've come. I see the stretch marks on my sides from birthing my son and think that I may never feel comfortable in a two piece again. Most of the time I am positive but like all people I have my moments. I recently started reading a book by celebrity trainer Kacy Duke called "The Show It Love Workout" and I am truly enjoying it. Unlike other exercise books this one begins by focusing on emotions. I am in the first chapter "I Am" and this chapter is all about being thankful for my body.

Thankful for this belly that held my son for 9.5 months and delivered a healthy baby. Thankful for these boobs that are droopy but who cares, they nourished my son for the first 13 months of his life. Thankful for this stretch marks that are evidence of the beautiful body I had when I was pregnant. And thankful for these thunder thighs that carry me on a daily basis and enable me to walk and exercise. I am truly thankful for my body - as it is. With this acceptance I can move on and continue my journey. I may or may not lose any more weight but I will be fit and healthy because I am committed to maintaining this lifestyle. Not because I want to change my body but because I want to live and be healthy for the rest of my lifetime. Scale or no scale.

And so, to celebrate my love of self, I am posting this picture. Here I am in all my glory, 168.9 pounds. I may lose a few more or gain a few more but I can honestly say that I am happy! Self-Love comes first and everything else will fall into place. Remember that. And if you are so inclined, post a photo of yourself too!

Monday Confessional - Operation Weight Loss

I am excited about my weight loss so far but I am also scared. Scared because I am now out here on my own, preparing meals and making food choices. For this part of my journey I am going to need all the support I can get!

Morning Routines

My son will be three in May and lately he has been reverting to some of his old ways. When he was an itty bitty thing he used to sleep in the bed with us, mostly for convenience - waking up to nurse and going into another room to put him to bed was not an exciting proposition. At around five months when I returned to work, he began sleeping in his own room. We all slept peacefully for two years but this past holiday season when we visited my mother we began sleeping together again. Three in a bed. And I am not the Queen in my bed, as a matter of fact, I more closely resemble a pauper with a mere 4 inches (if I'm lucky) of space and an arm or foot thrown in for good measure.

Needless to say, this does not warrant a great night's sleep for me. In the morning when I wake up, bleary eyed and tired I am destined to fire up the griddle for breakfast. You see, my son is a picky eater and the only thing that he will eat for breakfast (and sometimes lunch and dinner too) is pancakes.

My son loves pancakes, he never tires of them.

I wish there was more variety in his diet, he does like crackers and bread too - but what kind of mother will I be if I serve that for breakfast? So every morning, without fail, I make pancakes. I am thinking about getting creative and adding meat and vegetables, that way I know he will get all of the nutrition that he needs!

I am not the only one challenged in the morning with routines, check out this video from Bliss TV where I and several of my friends discuss our morning routines. Have a laugh at our expense!

BLISS TV Morning Routines from Blissful Media Group on Vimeo.

This article about making mornings easier is part of the Kraft Bagel-fuls "Break up with your Breakfast Routine"sweepstakes. Visit BlissfullyDomestic.com for all the fabulous details. This is a sponsored post.