Thursday, March 18, 2010
At this point in my weight loss journey I am not having difficulty letting go of my weight. I eat the appropriate foods and workout consistently for slow and steady weight loss. However, I am having a difficult time releasing my fear of needing ALL of my clothes. Around these parts I am known for my pack rat tendencies. I get it honest, my mother doesn't throw away much either. Please do not confuse this with being a hoarder, I am far from that(I think) but I do have a closet full of clothes and a couple of bins that I need to go through and give things away. These things have been sitting around for the two years that we've lived in our house.
We moved in 5 days before I gave birth and although I'd started packing our belongings and got rid of some things, my husband completed our packing while I was on bed rest. Needless to say, I have clothes from the late nineties to the present and it it time to purge. In many ways I am happy that I didn't get rid of my clothes because I am now able to shop my closet - I have sizes ranging from 9 junior to women's 18 (not quite sure where that came from) and as I shrink, I've been able to pull from my arsenal of old clothes.
As I've been rooting around, I've also noticed the sheer number of my clothes that are outdated and need to go. This week I started tackling the task of purging. I am able to get rid of the clothes that will never been in style again (although you can never be sure, I am certain they said that bell bottoms wouldn't come back in style and aren't boot cut jeans bells?) however the size 14s that I've worn once or never worn at all because they were too small? I am afraid to get rid of. What happens if somehow during my weight loss journey I slip up and fall into my old bad habits.
And weight creeps up? I can't see myself shopping for more "big" clothes. So against my better judgement I am saving some things. Just. In. Case.
I know this sounds like a defeatist attitude but until I've been living this way for at least a year (or two) I just don't feel comfortable letting go. I don't foresee myself slipping but you never know....
I think I've taken a big step by attempting to toss anything so I am patting myself on the back. Perhaps next year at this time, I will be celebrating maintaining my goal weight and finally feel comfortable letting go.
Labels: operation weight loss