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Thursday, July 2, 2009

Morning Rant

On a daily basis I receive a written update from Mekhi's caregivers. It is a summary of his daily activities and also provides guidance for reinforcing the lessons learned during the week. Although I love the information, I think it is a waste of paper. A weekly sheet for daily updates would be a better choice. But that is another issue.

Yesterday I picked up the paper in the morning because my husband forgot to the day before. I quickly read it and then placed it in the recycling bin. The same assistant teacher that I vented about in March says "you don't do the activities with Mekhi." My initial thoughts were "have you lost your mind? You have got to be kidding me!" Of course I did not say that and simply said - we read everyday and do reinforcement activities on a daily basis.

Again, I am defending what I do in my house with my son. For no good reason because I know it is obvious in his classroom behavior. I have had conversations with his main teacher and afternoon teacher and they are nothing but impressed with him. My son has been advanced for awhile and I am sure the fact that I have been reading with him since he was born has something to do with it.

Now, I am aware that many of the parents at the school are perhaps are not as involved in teaching their child at home. However, it is important for this teacher to know the parents - if she did I don't think she would have said something so ignorant. Generally I deal with the main teacher and the afternoon assistant because in the morning the children are eating breakfast and there is alot going on. But this woman's assumption that I don't work with my child based on the fact that I decided not to take home a form that I can read in 10 seconds and don't need to take with me just burned my hide (sorry for the run on). I work with an early childhood literacy program, how could I not be interested in teaching my child and leave it to daycare?

There are other things I could say about this woman but it would not be productive or very nice. Has anything like this ever happened to you? How have you dealt with it?



16 comments:

tifi said...

Yes. My daughter's teacher asked during a parent/teacher conference if we had books at home! (I blogged about that too.) I was so stunned, I didn't know what to say. To me (and most others who know us, I think), it is fairly obvious that Girlie comes from a family to whom education and reading are important. I (eventually) made peace with the fact that this woman would probably never really know my child b/c she either didn't have the inclination, or the time due to the class size. Funny, she retired at the end of the school year.

Maybe reaching out to his teacher would help? Good luck getting this resolved as it appears to be ongoing!

ChristiS said...

As a 12 year veteran in a first grade classroom and a Reading grad student, I cannot believe that she has the GALL to tell you what you're not doing! Even with kids that admittedly tell me their parents don't read to them, I would NEVER say such to a parent! UGH. I'd be ready to have a little convo with her if I were in your position!

Tooj said...

Some teachers see what the children WANT to show them at school. I think that's part of the problem. They get to make assumptions based on information the child is willing to share...and their attitudes with others can sometimes give a negative light. That is NOT to defend the teacher, but rather just state that, as we all know, limited exposure can lead to limited opinions. My 4 year old can read, but if he does it at school, aloud, might be hit or miss or not at all. He could just sit with the others and listen, prompting the teachers to presume he's typical for a 4 year old and unable to read a sentence, let alone an entire book. If I were in your shoes (because I can't bite my tongue, EVER, lol), I'd ask her what actions of my son prompted her to think that. See if she has an intelligent response. Good luck. And stay calm - happy holiday weekend (early).

mannequin said...

I've not had the misfortune of encountering someone like that but if I did, I'd be all over it.

There is no way I would not confront her and tell her exactly how it is. If her impression of you is what's bothering you, I'd make darn sure she understood who she was talking to.

Oh... it makes my blood boil. She has NO IDEA what she's talking about.

Mandy said...

As a preschool teacher (3k and 4k), I simply cannot believe that the assistant said that to you. My paraprofessional directs all comments/questions about academics to me. For her to step up and make an observation such as that is out of line. Did she give you any basis for her assumption?

I went back and read the post you linked to in March. WHOA! That woman sounds to be a little unprofessional. I would take these concerns to the director of the facility.

Jaime said...

Okay, I read the March post and see no excuse for that.

But in the post above, I see a plausible explanation for a misunderstanding. Is it possible that the teacher felt slighted when you threw away the paper and she was asking "You don't do the exercises?" In this scenario, it might not be any reflection on your child's abilities, etc., but just that she feels like she's wasting her time since you didn't "prize" her piece of paper. She could've been reacting to something that hurt her feelings. (Even if it isn't rational to think that you need to study the paper for any length of time.)

Sheliza said...

That has never happened to me with my child but I have dealt with know-it-alls in my girls' schools. I think some people go a little too overboard about things. She is foolish to not pay attention to how well Mehki is doing already and stop acting like he has some kind of problem. I call it ignorance and it will come back to bite her in the butt!

Ali said...

Wow, that sounds so frustrating! I agree with a couple of the comments suggesting that you ask her what prompted her to say that in the first place. Good luck!

Felicia - I complete Me said...

I don't know what I would say. I am so nervous about this happening to me as I know hubby and I are big advocates for education. I have been reading to my little man since I read that he can hear sounds while in the womb (granted hubby thought I was crazy, but oh well). I would be furious.

Meghan said...

You know what they say:
If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, then come sit by me.

So vent away about the beyotch of a teacher. I am here to listen!!!

CailinMarie said...

I've had plenty of kids in preschool situations, and then school situations, and there's been plenty of opportunities for teachers to let me know how they think I'm doing. Which is what I call that comment that woman made to you. My take it this; I am an expert on my child they may (depending on the number of years in that position or whatever) qualify as an expert on the age group. Because they feel they are qualified to dish out advice some of them get carried away with it. I treat them the way I treat meddling relatives (oh say my mother in law) with a "isn't that nice" smile and nod and get on with it. If Mehki is happy and getting the care he needs then I would let it go. The only time I take on care givers and teachers is when their impression of me changes or clouds their impression of my child or if their impression of my child leads to an unhappy situation. And then I'm a lioness on the loose. If you are going to take it up with her, make sure you win.

Execumama said...

No, fortunately, I haven't dealt with that particular issue. However, I'm concerned about what she might be telling (or exhibiting to) Mekhi as a result of her "assessment" regarding what happens with him at home. Is she asking him why mommy and daddy don't do the activities with him at home? Is she singling him out in any way? Have you spoken with any of the other parents in his class, and are they having similar issues? Don't know, but I get annoyed when teachers don't stop to pay attention to the type of parents with whom they're dealing.

Petula said...

Things like this disturb me because if an adult who interacts with me rudely often treats the child in the wrong way. This hasn't happened to me, but my daycare provider has asked if I have been doing something or not. Then if I said no she would say she could tell or if I said yes sometimes she would say which child was pretending like they didn't know.

I don't like people to make assumptions because their feelings are hurt. She could have simply phrased it respectfully and in a question. I read the last post about this woman and I am wondering if she has something against you personally. It seems unlikely that this stems from something she sees with your son because of the positive feedback you get from the others who work with him.

It's very unfortunate and extremely disrespectful. Good luck with dealing with her. And... I got your back if you need me to roll with you one day! LOL :) I am just a call away.

Hapi said...

hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

Kate said...

Whoa. I read the previous post and, honestly, I would get my kid out of there quickly! What she is communicating to your son is that you are incompetent as a parent - and that she is better equipped to raise him. You mess up his routine, but she knows better? It would be one thing if this didn't involve your child, but he is being influenced to believe this. He may not buy into it overnight, but I'll bet he will be convinced over time.

To Think is to Create said...

Something about certain teachers makes them think they can be judgy to parents, and says a lot about their character. The most secure mom can still feel less than by these people.

You know you're rockin it with your sweet boy, just keep on!

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