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Monday, November 10, 2008

Don't. Stop. No. Waaaaaahhhhh!

Before I became a parent I knew it was a challenging job. I have been around enough of my girlfriends and their children to be clear about that. However, I just don't think anyone can be completely prepared for it. I know all about the terrible twos, tantrums, and random flying objects flying in the car from the backseat.

What I didn't know was that my vocabulary would become limited to three words. Don't, stop, and no. If I am slow using them inevitably I will hear "waaaaaaahhhh!"

Last weekend Mekhi was playing by running between two rooms, Daddy was in one and Mommy in the other. He got hold of Daddy's knit cap and liked running with it on his head. The cap slipped covering his eyes and he still ran. Imagine it - a blinded toddler running between two rooms on gangly legs.

When I first caught sight of him falling five feet from my desk I knew this was a recipe for disaster. Using my three words and rising from my chair to intercept him I saw flashes of his possible future as a running back. In a blink of the eye he ran full speed ahead and whacked his head into the side of my desk. WAAAAAAHHHH! Rang out.

In the ten seconds it took to reach the refrigerator, his head had a lump that could rival Mount Everest and I was crying. His cries lasted all of one minute. He seemed okay but my poor parenting skills were evident for the world to see. I hoped that protective services would not be called in.

Matters weren't helped when my husband saw the shiner and proceeded to chuckle. As tears continued to flow down my face I handed Mekhi to my husband and called my mother. To tell her about the incident but also to complain about my husband's reaction.

She encouraged me to calm down and said Al's reaction came from being the oldest of 6 siblings with two younger brothers. And added - this is the first of many bruises.

I calmed down and realized the inevitable. Although I will continue my litany of "Don't, stop, and no," I understand this won't always be effective and accidents will happen. No matter how hard I try, I can't control everything.

Armed with this knowledge I anticipate more adventures in parenting.


41 comments:

anymommy said...

This is one of the very hardest things for me in parenting. Letting go a little. Letting them explore, make mistakes, get hurt. It feels like failing, but I know they are learning. Oh, and I would have been mad at his reaction too, but the exact same thing happens in my house!

Vodka Mom said...

It's tough- that knowledge that you can't protect them from the world. Buckle up, mama, it WILL be a bumpy ride.

Tooj said...

Poor thing! I've heard though, from nurses, that bruises that bump OUT like that are actually much less severe (even though they look really bad) than bruises or bumps that don't appear outwardly. And in my house, the roles are flipped. I'm the laugher and "told you so" and my husband is a bit of a freaker-outer. He's an only child and I'm the oldest...well, next oldest, but we don't claim him when it comes to oldest child lessons. :) Give him kisses and remind him of that incident a LOT...it might deter the blind running!

Jacqueline said...

I'm quite sure that this is the most difficult part of parenting...protecting them from the entire world. Hang in there.

mannequin said...

ditto on everyone's sentiments.

It is so very difficult to hold back and let that little boy climb that tree (aah..."he's goina fall, he's goina break a leg")but if we don't let them spread their wings, their wings will atrophy.

I am so glad it wasn't worse; poor little guy. I'll bet he won't do that it again though!
On another note, you were in front of me at SITS, I got so excited about it! It was as if I was standing near a celebrity!

Immoral Matriarch said...

It's so, so hard - right? We never want them to hurt themselves but they inevitably do. The bumps and bruises get easier to deal with, for both of you, believe it or not. :)

ali said...

Poor baby (and poor mommy)! I have so many pics of the boys with shiners and bumps and bruises and scrapes. I hope DHS never gets a hold of my photo album!

Sheliza said...

Parenting can be tough at times but hang in there! I guess I will learn a whole other kind of parenting since we seemed to have bypassed the bumps and bruises with the girls. You are a good mom Renee. Doing your best makes you a good parent :)

MBB Founder and Editor Denene Millner said...

Whoo! I'm glad that Mekhi is okay--that must have been incredibly scary. I can write a best-selling horror book about all the of crazy stuff my girls have done--and still do!. Let's see, there was the time when Lila fell head first TWICE on her front tooth, and when Mari knocked out said tooth in a scuffle, and Lila lost the OTHER front tooth on the soccer field, and Mari stuffed a barrette so far up her nose we had to rush her to the doctor to have it removed with tweezers as long as my arm, and the first time I saw my 16-year-old getting triple teamed on the football field... oh, it's never ending. The best advice my mom every gave me to deal with all of the madness? "Your job is to keep them from killing their little fool selves." It's the toughest gig I've EVER had.

alt search said...

Mom is right, it's the first of many. Unfortunately, we can't "be there" all the time. I'm glad mekhi
is alright!

Candy said...

oh my goodness, this just happened to El in NY last week!!

so Renee.

you and me.

Starbucks.

4pm.

See ya there!!!!!!!!

Jennifer said...

Oh Renee. I'm sorry to hear this. We've all been there. I have so many stories like this. I once cut the tip of my daughters finger off when I was clipping her nails. I let one of my children roll of a bench. I am currently running off to the doctor because my middle son hurt is leg.

After years of bumps, your tears will stop. You will assess the situation and if it is not too bloody you will laugh. Like when they run straight into the wall. That always cracks me up.

You are such a wonderful mom. Don't ever doubt that. If all else fails fit him with a helmet and wrap him in bubble wrap! ; ) That's what I always say I'm going to do!

Threeboys1mommy said...

I hope I'm wrong, but you haven't seen the worst of it yet girl... trust me!

Becky said...

My 8 year old son has hit his head more times than I can count. And he's still smart as a whip. :-)

boys will run into things. that's just how it is... be strong mama!!

T.Allen-Mercado said...

Y'know I found it much easier to protect them against the edges of furnishings inside than facing the ever-morphing challenges of the outside world. Your tears will be traded in for worry lines-but I hear it is possible. In fact I've seen it happen. Hugs!

Kelly said...

you saw my post on how i damaged my son, right? and that one was completely my fault. poor thing had his inner lip split wide open! lots of blood. lots. i cried and the hub rolled his eyes and scolded me for being a big baby. that was a month ago and i still feel bad about it! we just have that natural reaction when our children get hurt. i think they get over it before we do. being a mom is hard!

Meli said...

I so feel your pain. My son does stuff like this all the time. I panic every Monday because I am certain that the daycare is going to call Children’s services on me because my son has a new bump, bruise or cut.

When this first use to happen I would freak out but I am slowly starting to realize that toddlers have tumbles and you just have to roll with it.

Good luck, this is when you start to grow the eyes on the back of your head.

Ms. Bar B: said...

Oh yeah. There will DEFINITELY be more. Your mom and hubby are right. You'd be surprised just how many times kids can take a lickin' and keep right on tickin'. I nearly had a heart attack once when Miss J. busted all of the skin from her bottom lip when it made a hard impact with the solid floor below a chair in the beauty salon. She was probably a year or two and she blood was just pouring.

At the end of a 10-15 minute ordeal, an ice cold can of soda was applied, the bleeding stopped and as you can see she is alive and well today... lip in tact =)

Carrie said...

As I was reading your blog I was reminded of how my patience is tested each day. Being a parent is one of the toughest decisions I have ever made. I'm glad that your little man is o.k. Just remember to keep breathing when things get alittle crazy!

Deb said...

poor little thing (and poor YOU!)... i look at my 15 y.o. son's face, and he has three scars that all have a story similar to Mekhi's (running blindly). he was born running and hasn't stopped since. he is a daredevil, with cat-like reflexes. he rarely hurts himself, but i still wince when i see him point his skis down a black diamond slope or hurdle over a stair rail.

this isn't very reassuring, is it?

Paula said...

So true. And so damn hard to accept!! All you can do is blog about it to keep your sanity...

CaraBee said...

Oh Renee, I could have written this post word for word. My little one constantly has bruises and bumps. I am quite certain that each one hurts me far more than it does her. Not to mention that I feel like The Bad Mother when I go to the grocery store and everyone is like, "oh she's so cute and look at all those bruises." Seriously.

Amazing_Grace said...

As a parent of a special needs child I feel that I can never be a good enough parent. Maybe one day when he is grown up, through college, and on his own I will feel that I did one heck of a job. :)

manic mariah said...

Being a first time parent is hard, I always felt like wrapping them in bubblewrap. By the third and fourth I was all: Umm DO NOT bug me unless it is life threatening :)

Give him a kiss

Allison said...

Wow, what a doozy! But, hey, kids will be kids. But I hear you on the comment about protective services...I have wondered that on more than one occasion! LOL

Felicia said...

What a great post! I have some of these same feelings! Whew...what a work out being a mom you know?

Kat said...

Cute post. I'm waiting for child services to arrive now, after the tantrum that took place in my front yard this morning.

attygnorris said...

Aww...poor Mekhi...poor Renee. Such is the wonderful life of parenting.

MySweetThree said...

I'm glad to hear your baby is okay...and I just wanted to chime in along with the other commenters...I have been there..am there. I have cried at my girls falling down..which inevitably makes them cry more..lol, what am I doing to my children? I am getting better..we are learning as we go, right? And that is beautiful!

Rona's Home Page said...

As a mom of a 16 year old I have to say that I truly relate then and now. It's being a parent. A very hard job with no manual, no supervisor and tons of rewards.
You're concerns show that you're going to do fine.
When my 16 year old son says "Can you stop being a mom for just 5 minutes?!" I respond "No, you'll always be my son."

HeatherY said...

Don't feel bad. It happens. When my daughter was 16 months old she took a spill down our camper steps. The campsite was paved with large rocks and one smacked her in the eye. She had the biggest black-eye. It actually made me sick to look at it and how I failed my baby. My husband joked that she looked like she got in a bar fight. When anyone would ask, he would say,"You think she looks bad, you should have seen the other baby."

Jewelry Rockstar said...

You think your parenting skills were on display for a hickey. When my baby was 8 months old she had a broken wrist for a week and we were totally oblivious. She walked around with a pink cast for weeks and I had explain that I wasn't exactly sure when in happened but I had an idea when. It's all in a parent's days work:)

Frogs in my formula said...

No matter how many people tell you the bruise/cut/scrape is the first of many to come it just doesn't help! I'm working on my "it's ok!" face. Big time.

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ImitationAngel said...

Everyone has giving you such great advice. It's probably sad to hear that he will have many more accidents but he will. I spend so much time with my nephew and it's funny to see him running around being all crazy. Then he'll hit his head on something. Sometimes he cries and other times he just gets back up and keeps doing all the crazy stuff he likes. Trust me when I say that Mehki will do some of the same things. Don't think that you have poor parental skills. Just be there as best you can when he does hurt. He will be fine.

Kristen Andrews said...

give him a hug and kiss from me!

Danielle said...

Girl, I just went through the same exact thing this evening, when T face planted the kitchen floor and got a little bloody nose, I FREAKED!!! Not 5 mins later he was off and running, I am already preparing for the gray hairs!

MelADramatic Mommy said...

I have tried not to be a helicopter parent though my son has made my heart stop many times. And I'm sure will continue to do so. Part of the parenting package!

fly tie said...

just the other day i was speaking with my boyfriend about the responsibility to come along with parenting. his brother and sister-in-law have a brand new baby (as in 3 days old), and my first thought was, "wow..they just have to go home and know what to do!!" i can imaging that it's scary, fulfilling, joyous, and nerve-racking all at once!

i commend you and other parents for just doing it all.

he's gone be just fine. :-D

rhea said...

oooohhhhh poor baby!

I understand where you are coming from Renee in that I too needed to adjust my vocab with my last two children (age 2 and 1). You would think they are twins, and the things that they are always into makes me crazy sometimes. But the best part about being a mom is... well, having a 7 year old who likes to play mommy, LOL.

Kiss the baby and treat yourself to a mani/pedi... you deserve it!

LaTonya Yvette said...

Poor baby....he'll be okay

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