Vices

I was having a discussion in the car with my husband about a person that I know. She owns a home valued around $120K and recently purchased a car. You know the one, the Lexus that parks itself and costs about $60K, perhaps more. Well, I have been wondering about things like that and I asked my husband - is it just me or does it seem strange to own a car the costs half as much as your home? My husband responded, “How does this relate to our lives?” I have to admit that it doesn’t but I am truly curious, am I an anomaly because I believe things should match? For instance if you have a million dollar home and own a $100,000 car I can understand that. But the woman with the Lexus also told me that her next car was going to cost $100K +. Hunh????

These types of things don’t impress me and don’t make sense to me. Perhaps that is why I have difficulty understanding this way of thinking. My husband said that everyone has a vice and that this woman’s happens to be cars. I can accept that. I know quite a few people that love cars. But their cars and their homes match.

Anyway, this is how the conversation about vices continued.

Me: I don’t think I have any vices, well at least none that I can think of. What do you think?

Husband: …………

Me: Are you thinking?

Husband: What are you asking? I can’t answer that only you can.

Me: But you said all people have vices, I can’t think of any. What are mine?

Husband: Don’t ask me. You may have a vice that is not outwardly apparent. It may be something that you do and know you shouldn’t. It may be something that only you are aware of.

Me:……………..

End of conversation.

So, my husband gave me something to ponder. I suppose he’s right. We all have vices of some sort…. some more obvious than others. I began thinking and did a little research. What is a vice? According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary:

"1 a: moral depravity or corruption: wickedness b: a moral fault or failing c: a habitual and usually trivial defect or shortcoming: foible 2: blemish, defect3: a physical imperfection, deformity, or taint4 often capitalized: a character representing one of the vices in an English morality play b: buffoon, jester5: an abnormal behavior pattern in a domestic animal detrimental to its health or usefulness6: sexual immorality; especially: prostitution
Synonyms see fault, offense."

Hmmm, I am going to take for granted that my husband was referring to 1c – a habitual and usually trivial defect or shortcoming.

Wikipedia adds:

"The term vice is also popularly applied to various activities considered immoral by some; a list of these might include the use of alcohol and other recreational drugs, gambling, smoking, recklessness, cheating, lying, selfishness. ……. Behaviors or attitudes going against the established virtues of the culture may also be called vices: for instance, effeminacy is considered a vice in a culture espousing masculinity as an essential element of the character of males."

So now we are getting somewhere. I guess initially I was trying to think of vices in terms of material things. I am not a material girl. I love nice things but you are not going to see me flaunting a designer name across my chest like a billboard, I am much more discreet than that. But, I am sure I do have vices.

As I think about it I would say my “vice” or shortcoming is the ability to put myself into something 110%. Which in and of itself doesn’t sound like a vice but I do things and focus to the point of compulsion. This can be good but it also can be very bad.

For instance, in my early twenties I decided to become a health fanatic. Focus on the word fanatic. The fanaticism was not a conscious decision. It just manifested itself. I exercised twice per day, did juice fasts on a monthly basis and became an aerobics instructor. Doesn’t sound too bad right? But, I did all of this while neglecting something very important – my studies. And if I look back on my life I can see a pattern of doing these types of things. Very interesting.

A brief conversation with my husband has provided me with an opportunity for introspection and reflection. And a reminder to pull back the reigns when I see myself compulsive about something – like blogging, I am guessing this is my vice right now. Don’t worry, I am not going to stop blogging but I am going to put things into a reasonable framework as I prioritize my numerous responsibilities.

I have found my vice and shared it with you. This has been extremely helpful for me. How about taking a moment to reflect on your vice(s)? If you choose to, share. If not that is okay too. I think this is a worthwhile exercise providing an internal barometer of how you are doing.

And for the young woman with the Lexus – I know you are not reading this - but I still don’t understand you and probably never will. That is your vice to deal with and I am not casting stones, merely realizing that we all have them and I need to take care of my own.