Does This Ever Happen to You?
I am a mommy. I carried my son for nine months, felt him kicking, struggled with pain, pre-term labor, medications, bed rest and finally gave birth. I see my baby everyday, evidence of God’s miracles. Unforgettable.
I am also a wife. Wife. There are still moments when that title takes some getting used to. You see, I have been married almost three years and it took me 35 (closer to 36) to become a wife. Now don't get me wrong, I love my husband, truly I do. But after thirty-five years of being single sometimes I forget how to do the partner dance. Sometimes I make decisions without consulting my husband – not major ones but the type of thing that would naturally irritate someone.
I did it this weekend. I committed a major faux pax, failure to inform (consult). For the first time in I don’t know how long I planned a mommy night out with my best girlfriend. It was the first time we have been able to have girlfriend time without the kiddies since she moved to my town 3 months ago. Long overdue. I had my plans drawn up - sitter in place, route from Sesame Live to sitter to home mapped out. But I forgot one thing – to mention any of it to my husband. I got caught up in the excitement of seeing Dr. Johnetta B. Cole, Bernice Johnson Reagan and Gloria Steinem all in one place. And I set my plan in motion without consulting dear hubby.
When I realized my mistake it was the night before "the event." Less than a day's notice is never a good thing. But despite having to sacrifice quality time with our son or better yet alone time for himself he took it in stride. I got off the hook with a promise to never let this happen. Despite being married for close to three years I still have my “single” moments. I guess some habits are hard to break.
Comments
My husband and I have been married for over 8 years and he still has a tendency to slip in to independent mode. Some people are just more wired that way. I admit it DRIVES ME NUTS because he has occasionally been working in the garage and then just drives away without saying anything. Sure, it was a 10 minute trip to the hardware store, and over the years you learn that if he does that it's likely only for a few minutes, but it still drives me nuts. I don't get mad, I just tell him that he should have told me in case I needed anything. He's getting better...slowly...
Marriage is such an evolving thing. 8 years later, although we can finish each other sentences and interpret moods and all kinds of things very well, there are still moments where we are still learning about each other. And I think the things that drive you crazy about yourself or him will always be there, it's all about how you deal with them.
I hope you had a good time on your night out!
I don't think we EVER forget who we are, we just forget dates dangit!
You just haven't learned how to pass the buck sweetie. You need to start using your iCal to notify you way in advance of these things. You can also set it to email you with appts or give you an audible warning at a designated time. Just forward everything to DH.
I would be lost without my iCal. Do you use yours?
Stop by my blog when you can. I have another award for you that you can add to your already great collection. :-)
But then again, I'm single so maybe I wouldn't see anything drastically wrong here, lol.
I have book club the last Friday of every month and GNO the second Thursday of every month, so my husband usually knows when I'll be gone...
now, we don't live together, so i'm not sure if it'd be different if we did.
i do have other, "uuhh..ooops. i forgot i'm in a relationshp." moments, though. ha!
I'm glad you were able to get out of the house sans children.
Da Goddess